Friday, September 23, 2011

Child's exit:Parent's agony


                                      
Philosophers and Spiritual Gurus have lit up this world by sharing their priceless views on what ‘life’ is, how it ought to be lived and also its negation-‘Death’. Lives come and depart every day. And the departure seems as though an appointment has been fixed elsewhere(long away). The closer ones to the victim weep desolately insearch of a highly improbable answer to ‘Why’. I am as puzzled as anyone on what actually prompted me to write on this, for I am not a philosopher, nor am I a person dishing out volumes of Vedic lessons to people.
 Last few days have been really tragic. Tremors in Sikkim, Floods elsewhere, barbaric acts of terrorists all claiming innocent lives. There was also this unfortunate incident or rather an accident involving a minuscule one. Yes, in the news was the very recent untimely and unfortunate death of Ayazuddin,son of former cricketer Mohd.Azharuddin which came in as a shocker for everyone.
 When many of us feel a life actually starts at 19(for all the masti and frolicsome associated with it), here was a 19 year old wonderkid succumbing to a moment of ‘Bike-thrill’ in the roads of Hyderabad. My immediate concerns were very much on the obvious lines- his parents. It should go down as ‘against’ the law of nature for a child to die before its parent. Keeping the unbearable pain apart, a parent is drawn to an undescribable state of ‘perplexity’. The confusion on ‘Life after this’ is horrific.
When a child goes, with it goes its innocence,a parent’s ‘joie de vivre’,and a part of themselves. It creates a vaccum and as a grieving mother once said,” A small branch, one whose presence completed us, had been ripped from our family and left a large wound. Without it, we are lopsided and off balance”. Some might react by ending their lives too while some might seek solace in embracing god. And there are some, some stronger ones(by heart) who decide to dedicate the rest of their lives by doing things that would have made their little ones happier. But none the less, a parenting grief has serious takings. It remains unhealed. In some extreme cases, a parent finds it harder to believe what has happened. He/she thinks it is a myth or a illusion or a nightmare.
‘A Child is the father of man’ goes the saying.
I’ve often thought that Parenting is the most enticing and challenging role in the world. A parent tries to find solace in seeing their little ones grow up. For them, it is these images, the memories of different transition periods involved in their kid’s life- from being an infant to a toddler to an adoloscent to a teenager that might keep them going for ever. It is the impishness of a child that makes them to silently utter “Wow! This is life and I am loving it”.The main reason why it goes this way is that with a child,a parent too grows and learns the intricacies of life.A child is the visible example that a parent’s life has moved on, standing the test of time.
So,the sudden ‘snatch’ of the god-given gift will ultimately make them think that their life has come to a standstill.All those dreams that they had of their son handing over his first salary and their daughter on the day of her marriage is just shattered. For the parent, all those memories of the infant wetting their garments,of the toddler performing a cute somersault on the bed, of the 7-year old asking for a ride on his back,of the teenager squandering on fashion will remain within him.But the son he WAS,the daughter she WAS, IS no more……….

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